Once a year, the town goes crazy. Normally sane, logical adults wouldn’t think twice about paying double or triple the price for items that, on normal occasions, they would bargain tooth and nail for. Gift stores ring in the cash while working class adults sweat bucket-loads just thinking about the credit card bill that’ll be landing in their mailbox like a heat-seeking bomb. Yes, Valentine’s Day befalls us once again.
My practical husband and I are not big on celebrating gratuitous occasions best left to the young, starry-eyed singles in love or the hopeless romantics among us. Particularly this year when I am all of 35-weeks heavy, and roses, candle-lit dinners and pretty dessert surprises are the farthest things on my mind. Having said that, I did — as a masochistic measure out of plain hormonal boredom — ask some pregnant mummies what they would like for Valentine’s Day this year and while some more conservative mummies-to-be stuck to the safe flowers-designer bag-jewellery-romantic dinner wish list, I received some gems along the way. So here’s my top five no-holds-barred compilation of what some pregnant mummies-to-be (and I) would like to receive (but unfortunately, can only fantasise about) for Valentine’s Day this year.
- A bottle of Chateau d’Yquem:
For those who know their wines, this is the crème de la crème of all sweet wines from the Sauternes, Gironde region in the Southern Part of the Bordeaux vineyards known as Graves. In 2011 at an auction, a bottle of 1811 Chateau d’Yquem was sold for a whopping USD118, 000 and is commonly known as the most expensive white wine in history. An average price of a bottle in a local restaurant would set you back by about S$500.
In any case, between a $500 French dinner and a bottle of the best Sauterne in the world, it was a unanimous 5-zero vote for the Sauterne. Don’t forget, we have been alcohol-starved for close to a year so the lust for some amazing tipple is painfully real. Fantasy – finishing a bottle over a nice French dinner. Reality – wetting the lips with a couple of sips. Bummer.
- Safe, Passionate Sex:
Yes, you read it right. We are talking Karma Sutra, yoga-bending, hot sweaty sex. Unbeknownst to the male species, most of us healthy, pregnant women still want some of the sack action and baking a bun in the oven hasn’t killed that desire. In fact, some of us want it more! True that as we get bigger, it is physically quite impossible for some of the more challenging positions but hey, with some careful movements and loads of imagination, most of us are still game for some safe experiments.
While we are at the topic, let me state categorically for those ignorant and in-denial daddies: no, your pecker will not poke the baby’s head. It will not go anywhere near the baby, for that matter. So man up, and go read some scientific literature online about sex and pregnancy, and do us a little favour and bring some action back into the equation for V-Day please. This is one wish that some daddies can probably fulfil.
- Couple day on a race track behind the wheel:
It might sound a little farfetched but there are among us girls, those who love speed and fast cars. While many of us continue to drive till it becomes physically impossible or unsafe, it is not the same as flooring it in a race track. The adrenaline rush, the inimitable feeling of controlling a body of metal and mechanics and bending it to our will for the sheer pleasure of pushing speed limits is an addictive experience that’s impossible to replicate. But our physically-challenged baby girth makes it quite impossible to strap on the racing safety belts or for us to get close enough to reach the racing pedals. Alas, there is no such things as ‘safe racing’, it always comes with a semblance of risk and more so when pregnant. So this remains firmly in the fantasy category till after the baby pops.
I know, I know. I’ve covered this in point two above. But believe me, there are just too many daddies out there who can’t even get past the psychological barrier of the basic act, much less consult the Karma Sutra or experiment with various positions. So, for those in this category, just sex in any form will do please. Thank you very much.
- Japanese fine dining:
The majority of my female friends would cite Japanese food as their cuisine of choice when asked to choose a dining venue; the healthy, delicious option has always been a classic favourite among us girls. Who can resist those thick, chocolatey uni (sea urchin), the fresh, fatty slabs of Otoro (choice tuna belly), accompanied by the best sake (Japanese rice wine) or plum wine? Sadly, these culinary desires fall under the no-no category for us pregnant ones. Any meat that’s raw carries the risk of contamination with coliform bacteria, toxoplaxmosis and salmonella. And as for sake and plum wine, it is probably best to wait it out till baby’s safely out of the oven. Strictly a fantasy for most.