A 5-Step Approach to Better Communication With Your Other Half

Men and women are very different creatures. Even if they are asked to do the same activity, they tend to approach it very differently.

For example, when meeting up with friends, women are more likely to spend the time catching up and talking about their husbands and kids, while men delve into the latest gadgets or car they recently saw or acquired. There’s nothing right or wrong about it; men and women are just wired differently.

Hence, it is important to recognise that the emotional needs that they have are very different too, and that contentment comes when their other half are able to satisfy these needs.

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For women, they need:

  • Care
  • Understanding
  • Respect
  • Love

For men, what’s important to them is:

  • Admiration
  • Acceptance
  • Trust
  • Encouragement

So what do you do when you get into a quarrel with your better half?

Step 1: Recognise

Recognise that you’re different and that the actions you dislike aren’t necessarily done on purpose by your partner, but that they exist simply because you are wired differently.

Step 2: Request

Instead of quarrelling and getting madder at one another as you continue to fight, ask to take a time out so that you can reduce the hurt that you may do to one another.

Step 3: Relax

It’s easy to get worked up after disagreeing with one another so you should take time to cool down first.

Step 4: Reflect

After your emotions are more settled, reflect about what you were not happy about one another over and see the issue from the other person’s point of view. This may help put things in better perspective.

Step 5: Re-connect

Though you may feel better about the situation, it is important to wrap up the issue by communicating with your partner, working out the differences and apologising for any hurt that you may have caused one another because of the disagreement.


The above information was shared during the “Getting Mars & Venus Down to Earth & Say ‘I Still Do’” lunchtime talk by Mr Francis Lee of TOUCH Family Services. The talk is part of Families for Life’s ‘I Still Do’ campaign. Another talk will be held on March 3, and you can click here for more information. You can also attend the Marriage Convention 2017, where there will be workshops on strengthening and sustaining marriages.

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